I lost my drive to improve my game

[Fenris78]

After facing two bad months and having read Piemaster's latest (and brilliant) article, I think I have to admit that I have lost the drive to work on my game.

I have been playing mostly limit holdem mixed with the occasional NL tournament for 1 year and constantly trying to improve my game, build my bankroll and step up to higher levels. At first I felt that the only obstacle to playing always higher and higher was my bankroll, but now I can see that I have reached a plateau in my development where it seems that the limits I am currently playing are my "cap". I have been reading and rereading lots and lots of books in the last year, mostly about limit, plus the Harringtons for NL.

I have played mostly full ring limit games up tp $5/$10 and some month ago I have switched to 6max where I am currently playing $2/$4 (rarely $3/$6). It seems that I can break even at these games, or mabye make a small profit. My bankroll seems to have stopped growing completely for the last couple of month. Now I grew aware that my problem is not that my bankroll isn't growing anymore but rather my skills aren't developing any further. Of course I could step down in limits again to become a winning player again, yet I think this is not what I want. I see no point in playing lower limits just to make some extra bucks, especially when you consider that the "extra bucks" I would be making on these levels wouldn't make that big of a difference to me. I rather look for a hobby which satisfies me more instead of grinding away in my free time for maybe $200 or $300 extra a month.

Now I think I might have reached a point where reading books won't teach me anything new. I certainly do know the basics, yet I am lacking many skills that I would need to become a really good player. Probably my worst skill is hand reading. Of course, when I play in my home game, I am able to put my friends of hand ranges so narrow, it wouldn't make a difference if they played with their cards flipped over, yet in an aggressive online game I often seem to have trouble putting people on hand ranges.

So what is my problem now? I think my problem is that I can't find the will to improve anymore. I have Poker Tracker, yet I find it almost impossible to review my sessions anymore after playing. I try to post more hand examples but it seems that there are not many hands worth mentioning that I am playing, because the answer would only depend on one single question: "How do you perceive your opponent and how does he perceive you?". When I try to find and read more about strategy, I don't feel like it would be of much use and stop reading any further.

I thought I might have been bored, so I tried some new things like playing more MTTs, SNGs or even O8 and Triple draw. Still this has not brought back my desire to learn new aspects of the game. I planned to work on my SNG bubble game using SNG Wiz, but after only 1 or two weeks I grew bored of it. Trying to learn NL cash games didn't work as I couldn't bring myself to read NLHTAP which is still lying arounnd half read. Next I have cashed out some of my bankroll to by myself a new notebook hoping this "reward" would bring back my enthusiasm. Still nothing...

From time to time I am almost noticing something obsessive as if playing poker to me is more about gambling than about improving. I come home in the evening and sit down for some games and I start to get more and more angry when I get bad beaten. Instead of doing something else then, I try to find a new table to "get even". This compulsive behaviour scares me, as I don't want to develop some kind of gambling addiction. Poker was always more a game of strategy like chess to me, now I perceive it more like a game of craps. I feel the urge to play, yet I can't bring myself to improve anymore. In fact don't even know if I could simply stop playing now for a longer period of time. These signs do start to scare me a bit.

Ok, this got longer than I originally planned and a lot more confusing. I don't know if anyone can help me of if anybody has experienced similar situations. What I will definitely do now, is take a brake from poker in every form, including home games. In order to get myself on the right track I am planning to not play anymore for the next week and then re-evaluate when I have gained some distance to my current situation. In case anyone wants to comment, I would be glad for any kind of advice.

[Piemaster]

I think you are looking at two separate issues here. The first is your inability to improve your game any further. I remember reaching the same point as you a while back. All the books are telling you stuff you already know and it seems every hand example beyond the mundane depends entirely on the opponent.

This is where the learning process really beocmes difficult. One thing I did at this point was to really start looking at the numbers in detail. I downloaded PokerStove and spent a lot of time plugging in different scenarios and looking at pot equities. I tried to find the answers to questions like

- I have 55 and call a fairly tight MP raiser from the BB. The flop is K96. What percentage of the time am I ahead?

- How often will an unimproved AT be best on the river against a late position raising hand?

- What is my pot equity with KQo against a random hand if I miss the flop?

I found that looking at thinks like this really started to help me understand the game better. I was calling down the right hands against aggro opponents, calling down (and folding) to the right turn raises, making better calls and folds in the big blind to steal raises.

Once you have the basics of the game locked down, you have to take improvement in very small doses wherever you can get it. It can be tough, and this is where you find out whether you really are commited to becoming a good player. The alternative is eternally languishing in mediocrity (stage 4 in the article).

Your second problem is the compulsive gambling issue. This is an area where I don't have a lot of experience, but I think your idea of taking some time off is a good one. Actually, maybe you should take it a bit further, maybe you should take a month off. Prove to yourself that poker is a hobby and not an addiction. If you find yourself thinking about poker non-stop or find yourself taking up other forms of gambling to fill the void, then you may well have a problem. However, in your case I think you are more hooked on the money than the game.

[cybrarian]

I second the advice to take some time off. If you are worried about developing any sort of addiction AND you are unwilling, at the moment, to try to improve your game, you will be better off not playing for the time being.

I've been through similar spells, and I'm sure many many players have. I doubt there's a top player out there who hasn't doubted at some point whether they can improve (or maybe those at the top just lack the ability to doubt themselves, I don't know). The danger is that it is very easy to become lazy and complacent. As soon as you start to do that you start to stand still, and then you start to go backwards.

[Piemaster]

Another thing you might want to try is reading something a bit different. Read enough pure strategy books and eventually they all start to sound the same. Maybe try reading something like Zen and the Art of Poker (Phillips) or Psychology of Poker (Schoonmaker). These provide insights into the game that regular strategy books do not. Obviously I would also recommend The Poker Mindset when it is released.

[Fenris78]

Ok, Pie, I will indeed take a month off from now on. Especially because at first thought I found it impossible to stop playing for so long. In this time I will not read about poker too as I want to get my mind completely off anything poker-related. I will definitely get "The Poker Mindset" in case I feel the urge to read a new book about poker again after my break.

Now that you mentioned it, it might be true tha0, at least at the moment, the money matters more to me than the game. I don't think that I will start with other forms of gambling as I was never interested or have tried any other form of it (except for blackjack, but only because of the +EV bonus that Intercasino offered at that time).

Thanks for your advice, I will keep you posted about how things are developing. I hope I will be back since I don't want to dwell forever in stage 4. I rather give up poker than that.

[cybrarian]

[therivierakid]

[taz115]

[taz115]

Pie your article and this thread have peaked my interest (THANKS!). I have started a thread in Strategy. I'm not trying to steal the thunder from this thread, but rather look specifically at where/how I can improve my game.

Thanks again for the great article.

[krazytxan]

Fen you are not alone.

My drive to improve my game is very low although, I know by making minor changes, I would see significant improvements.

I love doing self -analysis and I have come to the conclusion that with all the negative "stuff" going on with US and poker, I don't see a reason to try to improve. Why spend hours studying, when tommorrow the sky might fall and I won't be able to play poker. The closest live poker is about 5 hours away.

For now poker is "fun" for me. Its my relaxation. I don't need another job. So until my "poker mindset" changes..I am stuck at my current level of knowledge.

KT

[taz115]

[krazytxan]

[Fenris78]

Thanks for the helpful answers. Good to see I am not alone. When even very good players like you, taz and krazy, admit that they find it hard to keep on working on their game, I see that it's not only a problem of mine.

Still I will stick to my plan and quit playing for 1 month in order to sort some things out. Hopefully I will make good use of that "extra time", since their are several more things in my life that I have to sort out at the moment apart from poker.

[Fenris78]

*UPDATE*

After two weeks I am fairly confident I don't have anything resembling a gambling addiction. I rarely thought about poker at all in the last two weeks and I didn't miss it all that much yet. I even found my urge to play vanish completely after I made my decicion to stop playing for a while. The only thing I would like to do, is play a homegame with my friends. But since I didn't want to play at all for 1 month, I'll stick to that plan.

Still the urge to learn didn't come back again either. Maybe I will extend the break even longer, or I will just go back to play in two weeks, and stick to the limits I can beat. But this outlook isn't really exciting at the moment, because moving up and learning to beat always higher limits and better games is definitely part of the fun for me.

Maybe I will just have to wait till I get "The Poker Mindset" in my hands to get all the answers I need

[Joey2Cardz]

I admire your determination to still be involved in poker, despite the fact you are clearly getting tired of it. I, too, am taking a break from poker. I found that my game was slipping because I had stopped trying to improve. Like an athlete who doesn't feel like he needs to train anymore. It was stupid and my drive to play poker and to win just evaporated. Unlike you, I have spent the time I have gained reading poker theory books and these forums just to refocus my mind. I'm now thinking a lot more about poker and regaining my confidence. By June, when I start playing again, I will be back to my normal self. I think it's healthy to give things a rest once in a while. My next blog entry will cover this topic with some detail.